Eff Off

Aug. 9th, 2004 @ 12:24 am Whew

I told him. Turns out he cheated, too. Oh well. We're still together, but honestly, I think it's the slow process of breaking up. Like I didn't tell him who, but I'm sure he knows. I don't even want to think about....okay, so moving on.

I really wanna call Audra right now, but she has school tomorrow (haha) and she needs her sleep, so I shouldn't. I almost wanna call Jordan, but I don't really know him well enoguh to vent about this. He sortta heard some of it the other night, but I'll wait until he gets back.

I told Jenni to call me or get online if she could, which I'm hoping she can.

I laughed after a few minutes. Is that bad? Do I really not care? I don't know what's going on with this right now. I'm totally willing to let him go. Not completely, but you know.

Okay, I'm gone. Nore more talk of this.

I need my Cowboy Mouth.

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Aug. 8th, 2004 @ 12:35 am I (heart) Cowboy Mouth

I'm watching the STL Ribfest DVD from forever ago BK burnt for me, and I'm all like *sigh.* I love those guys. So Jordan came over last night. And that's all I'm saying. He's down in Florida for like 10 days now which SUX, AND I leave like the day after he gets back. I totally wanna see him tho.

Okay, I'm too involved with my CM DVD so I'm gone. Lata.

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Aug. 7th, 2004 @ 12:06 pm Work sucks

I am really really sick of working. I have today, tomorrow, then one day off, and who knows after that. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I get time off, but if I do work, hey, more money. So yeh, I'm really tired. Maybe that has something to do with Jordan being over here until 3 this morning. He's going to Florida until the 16th or 17th, which sux cuz I leave just a couple days after he gets back. Meh, oh well. I'll prolly fit him in the day before I go or something.

Anywho, I work in 3 hours. I really need to take a shower. I'm just now remembering this dream I had. Fred played a solo show, and Jenni and I were walking out with him, and two cops stop him telling him he needs someone to take him home cuz he's too drunk to drive, so I happily oblige. Then we get lost somewhere north of STP. It was great fun. I can't wait to see him again.

I think it's supposed to rain today. That's god. When you work at DQ any weather other than bright, sunny, and hot is always welcome. At least on the days you work.

Well, I'm gone. Lata kiddos.

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Aug. 4th, 2004 @ 03:55 pm 2 months, 3 weeks, 4 days!

Current Mood:

ecstatic
Current Music: CM - HDYTS

Tina says don't talk to me like I am deaf and dumb
We've broken down and broken up so much that I am numb
Talk about, don't shout about the people we've become
There's a little girl who's cryin' over here

So can anyone tell I'm just a little excited about Atlanta? First I have Memphis, then I'm actually looking forward to school starting so I can get to Halloween faster. I haven't decided if I actually want to stay on Sunday night and just come back Monday or what. I'm buying the ticket, so whatever I say goes. Yayness! I just emailed Fred like 5 minutes ago to see if he'd be kind enough to put me on a guestlist. But I can already tell you, I'm gonna get a response that says "remind me when it gets closer." I've heard that from him so many times. But it's all good.

I have to share this. Said by Fred at Ribfest, "This is something you are gonna learn later in life. the longer you wait, the better it feels." Hmmm. Really now? I almost mentioned something about that in the email to him, but then I realized I'm still 16, won't be 17 for a few more days, and I shouldn't be too suggestive before I turn 18 anyways. But once August 20, 2005 rolls around, watch out NOLA, cause here comes trouble. And believe me, that's all Fred's gonna be seeing. Hehe. Wow, that was wrong.

I have to be at work in an hour. I haven't even taken a shower today, and I don't think I'm gonna. I'm too lazy, and c'mon, who do I really need to impress? It's not like I smell or anything. I'm getting tons of hours tho. I think I work over 50 just this week. That's normally how much I work in two weeks. I'm going to probably do the same next week, too. I need that money for Memphis, and then I also need money for my plane ticket.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go. More later. Love y'all.

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Aug. 1st, 2004 @ 02:41 pm Can't even begin...

I really wish I could talk about everything on here that I want to, but I can't because it's just too big of a risk. All I gotta say is I once again fell in love with the same person who stole my heart September 2001. I dunno how he does it, but it just gets better and better everytime. Okay, I'm gone. You want the story? Then call me.

Luv y'all!

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Jul. 30th, 2004 @ 12:35 pm Cowboy Mouth!!!!

You don't understand. No one does. Cowboy Mouth is like my little dose of religion a couple times a year. It's the only thin I'm spirituial about, and even that's pushing it. I'm so excited about seeing Fred tonight. Of course, I'm not going to the LT show cuz they want money and that's extra gas, Gas is too expensive. But yeh, I'm so excited about tonight. As soon as I get done with laundry I'm outta here. Of course, tou should know where we're gonna wind up tonight. Duuuh. I'm all happy about that. I have to work tomorrow, too, so if he tries ANYTHING (ahem) he's fucking dead. It took me a day to recover from that shit, and I don't wanna have to try again. It's like worse than any hangover you could ever imagine. All you wanna do is sleep so you don't have to think about the pain, and then OD on advil, or whatever the strongest drug is in your house.

Anyway, enough about that...

Laundry needs to go faster. I have like one load left after the washer gets cleared, then I need to put everything up. I have to clean the kitchen too and take a shower. Which speaking of, I should prolly take care of the shower thing. I sortta have to shave tonight or else that's gonna be gross. Ewww...unwanted hair totally ruins moments. LoL Please don't ask. Cuz I won't tell unless you get me drunk and pay me lots o money. Yay for tonight! Come out to Ribfest. Y'all really should. You have no idea what you're missing.

Luv y'all!

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Jul. 29th, 2004 @ 04:37 pm College Essay Time

It always seemed like it would always be so far off, and something I wouldn't have to think about. But as the applications keep coming in the mail, the essay questions come in as well. I've actually attempted to write the essay multiple times, but everytime I try, I get completely sidetracked and lose my train of thought. I don't have these incredible writing skills like so many others do. I write like I think, completely incoherent and unsensable to most people who don't know me. I have the ADD of writing, I swear. I always hated having to write overly informative essays for my English classes because I would always pick a topic I didn't know as much about to keep it interesting, but when it came time to actually write, I couldn't keep track of all the information. Yeh, imagine having to keep up with 17 years of information that could be possible essay topics. When you think about it, the essay isn't the most important thing, but at the same time it is. While it won't solely determine if you can be accepted into a school, it may come down to weather it's you or the next guy. Early deciscion apps have to be in by like December 15th. That means I have only 5 months to write something that can get me noticed. That is, if I choose to go to a school other than U of MN Twin Cities. Isn't entrance guaranteed there or something like that? Well, not really, but it's not that difficult.

Okay, I know all of you are all pondering why I'm talking about this. I can't help but worry about it. I'm finally relaizing that NYU, Columbia, Boston U, Cornell, and all those schools aren't ever going to happen. Not with my high school transcript and my ACT scores, anyway. What good does a 25 (both times) gonna do you? And a 3.3 GPA doesn't help too much either. I almost want to apply to all the Ivy League schools just to give those admission counselors something to laugh about when they're going thru their 5,000th application. They spend like a whole 5 minutes on it. Seriously. That's enough time for me to read the name, and then time's up. Damn. With a name like mine, they'll need 10, at least. Wait, how do you pronounce that? What nationality is it? (Italian, ya dicks.)

Okay, I'm going to quit stressing about this for now. Well, not really, but let's pretend I am. I need to go work on my music for Monday. Shit, that means I can't kill my voice tomorrow. Oooooh yeh! Now I remember why Carrie and I didn't originally schedule for next week. I was too afraid my voice would be fucked. Oh well. That's too bad. If it is, I'll bring in "All That Jazz" or something and stay in my lower range. Although, she is sooo convinced I should be developing my upper range a hell of a lot more than I have to this point. I dunno. Music is music, but without it, I die.

Alright, I'm going to go. This is two long ass entries in one day, so everyone should be overly impressed. More later prolly in the ways of surveys and quizzes cuz now I'm bored. Love y'all.

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Jul. 29th, 2004 @ 12:56 pm I fucking hate carpet

Current Mood:

excited
Current Music: Cowboy Mouth - Jenny Says

So we're getting carpet installed today. The guys are here right now doing it, and not like I mind too much, but what happened to even the REMOTS possibilty that they MIGHT be somewhat decent looking? The younger one isn't horrible, but he's not cute. And the other on is old, and I'm all like ugh!!

Jenni just left to go to work. Me and Justin talked to her yesterday which went MUCH better than we expected. So, now that we don't have to hide the fact that we hang out or what not, things are good. Jenny is no longer going to Cowboy Mouth with us which sux, but oh well. That means I have 3 open spots in my car. Anyone interested? Lemme kno cuz believe me, you don't wanna miss it.

OMG COWBOY MOUTH IS TOMORROW!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!

It hasn't even really hit me yet. It's gonna be like 3 this morning and I'm gonna know I need to be sleeping, but I won't be able to b/c I woulda been so psyched to see them. Ack! I love those guys (and girl)!!! One year, five days. I've never gone so long in my life without seeing them. Well, unless you count from August 1987 to September 2001, but I didn't even know they existed, so it's alll good.

We rented the Blue Collar Comedy Tour last night. OMFG It's the most hysterical thing I've ever watched. I should get my dad to watch it. It's pure genius. Not as good as Eddie Izzard, but right up there. Which reminds me, I need to get those DVDs from Adam. That means giving back the RBF CD and giving up Hedwig for a little while. Oh, how will I live without me transexual rock star? I guess I'll have to live off a professional transvestite comedian. ("Well you see, I'm a lesbian in a man's body"...hahaha)

Okay, I'm gone. This is the longest entry for quite some time, isn't it? Well, yes, yes it is. Haha. Luv y'all!

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Jul. 27th, 2004 @ 11:59 pm Jealousy lol

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Men Seeking Men

xblatherx (11:56:51 PM): heeey
aVcaLigRL (11:57:05 PM): whats up?
xblatherx (11:57:13 PM): not too much...wats goin on with you?
aVcaLigRL (11:57:25 PM): not much
aVcaLigRL (11:58:10 PM): im so jealoush
xblatherx (11:58:15 PM): why?
aVcaLigRL (11:58:22 PM): how do you get to sleep with a gay guy!
xblatherx (11:58:24 PM): lol
aVcaLigRL (11:58:30 PM): haha... thats soo not fair !
xblatherx (11:59:13 PM): it started when brad met paul, he was all like oooh we should have a 3some, but im like noooo and now hes just like hey, i'll do you....and im all like hell yea! lol
aVcaLigRL (11:59:37 PM): haha.. yeah, me sitting here, totally jealous
xblatherx (11:59:43 PM): he's also sortta hoping for me to hook him up with a friend too....so who knos
aVcaLigRL (11:59:53 PM): gay friend?
xblatherx (11:59:57 PM): nope
xblatherx (11:59:59 PM): straight
aVcaLigRL (11:59:59 PM): or straight friend?
aVcaLigRL (12:00:03 AM): really?
xblatherx (12:00:08 AM): yeh...3some anyway
aVcaLigRL (12:00:23 AM): haha, well you can always call me !
aVcaLigRL (12:00:25 AM): lol
xblatherx (12:00:25 AM): which will happen...its just a matter of when and how drunk we need the guy to be lol
aVcaLigRL (12:00:38 AM): haha nice

Just thought I'd share.

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Jul. 27th, 2004 @ 10:30 pm mine's cooler then mgn's

I am flower named effoff !

I consist of my friends!

Are you flower too?

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Jul. 25th, 2004 @ 12:19 am Ack!

Current Mood:

giggly

Omg....everyone knows that I'm in love with Brad, you kno, the gay guy at my work. WELLLLLL, guess who might hook up with him?!?!?! Wheeee! I'm so fuckin happy about it. See, he's all like find me someone to do and I'll do you sortta as a thank you. Hahaha. I'm like hell yeh! I think I got someone, too, but I need to get more people, just in case. Ahhh...my first gay one. Haha. And so many more to follow. And people said I couldn't do it.

Well, gotta call Audra. Love y'all!

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Jul. 24th, 2004 @ 03:54 pm Heaven...

Current Mood:

blah

I'm still obsessing over last night. It was soooo good. I love Bed, Boys, and...well, actually we can just stop with bed and boys cuz we all know what comes after that. Haha. I really should be getting ready for work right now since i have to leave in like 40 minutes, but I'm too lazy. I'll take my 5 minute shower and throw on some clothes. I don't even bother drying my hair. It takes too much time. Haha.

So yeh, I still have nothing to say. I never do. I'm broke and can't spend any more money.

Okay, question for everyone...

Carrie wants me to do Rent music for our last 3 weeks together, and I dunno which one to do. Sooo...

Will I
Your Eyes
One Song Glory
Seasons of Love

Pick one for me...cuz I wanna do em all! Ahhhh I heart Rent!

Oh, did I mention Dasons (sp?), you know, the band guy, played piano for BB&B last night? Yeh, that was funny.

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Jul. 24th, 2004 @ 12:15 am Men!

Current Mood:

enthralled

Bed, Boys, and Beyond was AMAZING!!! I'm still like in love with the cast. Those were seriously the five most talented men I've ever seen share one stage. Ahhh....the hot ones are gay, and one even crossed over to Saint Paul! Uh oh. LoL. You gotta understand.

Okay, I have nothing to say and I have a massive headache. More later. Mwah.

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Jul. 22nd, 2004 @ 04:41 pm Too...much...drama...

Current Mood:

distressed
Current Music: Aida - The Gods Love Nubia

First, the snake dissapears. Wait no, that's sort of the last thing that happened. Well, people are being strange and bitchy, and then the snake dissapears. Damn reptiles. Everyone has told me not to worry about it, and she'll come out. I hope they're right. Oh, btw, Gunderson never needs to know about this. Haha. I think he'd die on me.

I'm so sleepy. I'm goin on like 3 hours of sleep, and I have a voice lesson at 6. Not complaining tho, cuz I really wanna go to it. There's so much that I want to work on, and I'm just uber excited. Yayness!

And with that, I gotta go work on one bit in one song for a while. Lata!

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Jul. 20th, 2004 @ 08:38 pm Toy Story and kids

Current Mood: Bored and exhausted
Current Music: Toy Story

So me and Jenny are babysitting the kids and watching Toy Story. Woo. Umm, more like not. I'm totally unmotivated to update, and really have nothing to say. I have a couple more hours to figure out how to make myself stop smelling like smoke and if I'm don't it's gonna be fun explaining this one. Yeh. Uhhh, something caught on fire. Haha. Maybe not.

Alrity, I'm gone. Love y'all.

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Jul. 19th, 2004 @ 09:34 am It's early!

Current Mood:

geeky

All of you may be looking at the time I'm posting and see that it's before 10. You're wondering why I'm awake. All of you are saying "But she doesn't work until 12." Well, Alyssa got ahold of me last night and is giving me $30 (yes, $30) to drive her to work for 3 days this week. It's only Valley Fair, so it's like I'm makin some money. Considering I have NO money for gas, I really need this. Plus, I'll prolly have enough money for food, too, so I can buy her McD's or something, with her money of course, if she wants. Yeh, I'm so nice.

Anywho, I'm headed out to get her. I gotta get gas and all that fun stuff. Lata kiddos.

(I updated for THIS? Wow, what's wrong with me? Haha)

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Jul. 18th, 2004 @ 06:42 pm Boredome

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Jul. 18th, 2004 @ 06:35 pm At least she's hot lol

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Jul. 15th, 2004 @ 01:38 am This is funny

Current Music: Bed, Boys, and Beyond - Mr. Right

Okay, let's play analyze this...
Person who likes me the most is....ME! Yes, that's right. Myself. That's highly amusing as well as most likely the truth.

The person who wants to meet me is actually someone I've never met. Interesting. He's also the person who this says I should get to know better. Hmmm.

And uhh, Courtney has a crush on me. LoL. Sorry, Courtney, I'm just a little bit taken.

And this one disturbs me the most...Mgn looks up to me. Wow. Something's fucked up.

Okayk, this just made me laugh so I had to share. Lata y'all!

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Jul. 14th, 2004 @ 04:02 pm I hate people

Current Mood:

exhausted

Okay, I don't hate all people, just a lot of them at the present moment. Well, I don't even hate them. I'm just sick of them. I really want things back to how they used to be before everything happened. And by everything, well, read my journals from the past few years. I think you'll get the drift.

Anywho, I gotta get ready for work. As well as put my life back together. Come see me tonight if you can. I will be working up front because I'm gonna force them to take me outta drive if they put me in there.

Let it all fucking go.

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